Artist Statement

At what age does childhood innocence fade away? In my practice, I explore the dichotomy between childhood innocence, loss of agency and memory, using old childhood photos to facilitate a conversation between my childhood and adulthood. In my paintings, I am exploring what effect childhood trauma has had on me developmentally, emotionally and socially, manipulating old photographs to regain the agency that was stolen from me at a critical developmental age. By substituting my portrait for my childhood stuffed, I am using them as a proxy for the childhood trauma that I was forced to take on. I question, what if I was a stuffed animal? Would my life be different? Would I have been given the care and attention that I craved? Childhood animals are a symbol of innocence and love, by replacing my image with a stuffed animal, I am actively stripping away the symbolism and projecting my trauma onto them, in an act of searching for my own lost innocence.  I explore the materiality of paint to formulate an imaginative space for the figure to escape into, a space that is free from the trauma of a specific memory- a space that I longed for as a child. I draw inspiration from the colours and shapes found within childlike imagery, furthering my quest to regain a childhood that was stolen from me.